If you’d told me that an Orthodox Jew would one day be treasury secretary, I’d have had the Elders freeze your bank account. — Jan 10

“And may your second administration be a masculine administration.” –Luca Brasi to Obama — Jan 10 

I hope being short or long Herbalife doesn’t offer any clues to a person’s appointed time here on earth. — Jan 10 

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Always amused when writers whose last glimpse at a synagogue was when they were paid to give a speech at one use their Judaism as a rhetorical weapon. — Jan 8

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Mint the trillion-dollar coin, then flip China for it. — Jan 6

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I have good news and bad news. The good news is that Current TV is being taken over by Al Jazeera. The bad news?.?.?.?nope, don’t have any. — Jan 2

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Fiscal Cliff should be followed by Fiscal Tab, and Fiscal Rock, and Fiscal Troy. — Dec 31

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Please don’t arm the meshuggener who was my driver’s ed instructor. OK, that was 35 years ago. But still. — Dec 21

I’m watching a ‘Good Morning America’ montage of how much fun its hosts had all year. Ordinarily this much sugar would cause a Bloomberg ban. — Dec 21

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Re Obama Sandy Hook speech: You know what’s comparable to the Gettysburg Address? Nothing. — Dec 17

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I withdrew my name from consideration as secretary of state weeks ago. — Dec 13

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Conservative activist: “Boehner is a lousy negotiator! If I were he, I’d?.?.?.” and at this point it kind of gets all fuzzy. — Dec 5

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Obama: “I have a pen.” Youth who voted for him by 60-31 margin: “What’s a pen?” — Dec 5