To the Editor:
Wendy Shalit [“Intermarriage, Inc.,” March] is immensely informative about the cultural stresses in intermarriage. May I recommend that the partners in such a marriage read, together, the fundamental texts of both Judaism and Christianity? That is, they should sit down seriously—make time for doing so—and begin with the Torah. Robert Alter’s new translation of Genesis would be a good place to start; they will need the annotations throughout that Alter provides. Having completed Genesis, they can go on with the other four books, slowly and in an informed way. Then they can read the four Gospels, Acts, some Paul, also with scholarly annotation.
Among many other things, it would become clear that the narrative between the Hebrew Bible and the New Testament is in many ways a continuity, and that the latter cannot be understood without reference to the former.
This recommendation is not going to appeal to all such couples, obviously. But the question ought to be moved beyond Santas and Hanukkah bushes.
Jeffrey Hart
Dartmouth, New Hampshire
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To the Editor:
Congratulations to Wendy Shalit for her perceptive observations on intermarriage. As she points out, attempts to blend Jewish and non-Jewish elements into an intermarriage often create a result which brings grief to the Jewish community as a whole.
One example is the practice of the “breaking of the glass.” This Jewish custom symbolizes the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. When observed at an inter-faith wedding ceremony, however, a sad irony emerges from the broken glass, at least from the perspective of the Jewish community. At a rite marking the departure of one of the Children of Israel from the fold, the intermarrying couple observes the one Jewish wedding custom designed to subtract from our joy.
Robert P. Lindeman
Brookline, Massachusetts
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To the Editor:
The points raised by Wendy Shalit in “Intermarriage, Inc.” are well taken. As the author of one of the books she discusses, There’s No Such Thing as a Hanukkah Bush, Sandy Goldstein, I would like, first, to thank her for her comments on my book. The response I receive always depends on where the speaker is standing. The parents with both feet planted firmly in a Jewish neighborhood, whose children attend religious school or a public school that is predominantly Jewish, are happy to tell me that their children have no desire to celebrate Christmas: for them it is a non-issue. But for others, growing up Jewish in America has quite a different look: it is, for example, the look on the faces of the two little girls in a far western Chicago suburb who whispered to me after I had made a guest appearance at their school that they, too, were Jewish. For them it is impossible not to define Judaism primarily by what it is not. This is especially true at Hanukkah time, when the entire world around them glitters with tree lights and tinsel.
My book was written for them, for my daughter whose young heart longed for a Christmas tree, for my mother who first explained to the eight-year-old me that there was no such thing as a Hanukkah bush.
Susan Sussman
Chicago, Illinois
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To the Editor:
In “Intermarriage, Inc.” Wendy Shalit provides evidence for the insight of the late philosopher Emmanuel Levinas that
the national spirit is strongly marked by religious history which, throughout the centuries, has impregnated daily social customs. Jews’ entry into the national life of European states has led them to breathe an atmosphere impregnated with Christian essence, which prepares them for the religious life of these states and heralds their conversion.
It warms the cockles of an aging heart to know that Wendy Shalit is out there in the ranks of today’s young.
Morris Goldstein
New York City
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Wendy Shalit writes:
I am very grateful for the kind words and insight of Jeffrey Hart, Robert P. Lindeman, Susan Sussman, and Morris Goldstein. I was particularly interested in Mr. Hart’s suggestion because I could not make up my mind about it. On the one hand, if every interfaith couple took his advice, clearly intermarriage would be less an occasion for anguish than an opportunity for renewed religious commitment. And yet, if such individuals were that curious about the primary texts of their religion, I cannot help wondering whether they would be likely to intermarry in the first place.
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