David Brooks seems unaware of what actual Republicans — as opposed to the caricatures portrayed in the “news” section of his newspaper — are talking about these days. He offers up this:

Republicans could argue that it’s Nero-esque for Democrats to be plotting extensive renovations when the house is on fire. They could point out that history will judge this president harshly if he’s off chasing distant visions while the markets see a void where his banking policy should be.

Hmm… No Republicans are talking about that? Seems the entire right blogosphere, dozens of conservative TV commentators and economists, most of the fiscal-oriented conservative think tanks, and plenty of Congressional leaders are talking about that very thing.

He also declares:

Republicans could point out that this crisis is not just an opportunity to do other things. It’s a bloomin’ emergency. Robert Barro of Harvard estimates that there is a 30 percent chance of a depression. Warren Buffett says economic activity “has fallen off a cliff” and is not coming back soon.

Wow, now there’s an idea. But wait. Isn’t that precisely what conservatives and Republican leaders have been talking about these days?

Perhaps Brooks would appreciate something like this:

President Obama should be focusing on the “economic crisis,” as opposed to holding four-hour meetings on healthcare, as the president did last week. The efforts may be laudable. . . but the White House should be devoting all resources to fixing the economy and not to “impose these cap-and-trade schemes.”

“At the end of the day, we are in an economic emergency. Economists are saying that there’s a 30 percent likelihood that we’re going to be in a depression. . .My goodness, we do have an emergency, and we oughta say, look, priority No. 1 is to create jobs.”

Well, that was Minority Whip Eric Cantor.

Now Brooks offers this line of argument to Republicans:

Unlike the Democrats, they’re not for making trillions of dollars in long-term spending commitments until they know where things stand. Instead, they’re going to focus obsessively on restoring equilibrium first, and they’re going to understand that there is a sharp distinction between crisis policy-making and noncrisis policy-making. In times like these, you’d do things you would never do normally.

That would sort of be like opposing pork-filled stimulus and omnibus spending bills, right? Or like taking the president to task after the healthcare summit.

Perhaps when he was last visited by the Obamatons, they not only left him with the talking points for “Obama isn’t a radical despite his policy proposals,” but also with a field of straw-men.

Brooks does seem intent on getting Republicans to go along with Obama’s plan for “global stimulus coordination” and coming up with a bank plan in the absence of one from the Treasury. Unlike his other suggestions, those gambits certainly would be a change from Republicans’ current approach.