Over at the New York Times’s online commentary site, Opinionator, Dick Cavett wrote a piece that may have set a record for invoking bad metaphors. In an article of only 961 words, consider these:

It doesn’t take much, it seems, to lift the lid and let our home-grown racism and bigotry overflow.

We have collectively taken a pratfall on a moral whoopee cushion.

I like to think I’m not easily shocked, but here I am, seeing the emotions of the masses running like a freight train over the right to freedom of religion — never mind the right of eminent domain and private property.

A heyday is being had by a posse of the cheesiest Republican politicos (Lazio, Palin, quick-change artist John McCain and, of course, the self-anointed St. Joan of 9/11, R. Giuliani).

And of course Rush L. dependably pollutes the atmosphere with his particular brand of airborne sludge.

Sad to see Mr. Reid’s venerable knees buckle upon seeing the vilification heaped on Obama, and the resulting polls.

I got invigorating jolts from the president’s splendid speech — almost as good as Mayor Bloomberg’s
— but I was dismayed, after the worst had poured out their passionate intensity, to see him shed a few vertebrae the next day and step back.

Set aside for the moment that we are handing such a lethal propaganda grenade to our detractors around the world.

You can’t eat this particular cake and have it, too

This just may qualify as the single worst piece published by anyone. Anywhere. Ever.