Once you see certain trends in journalism, it’s difficult not to see them everywhere. Take, for example, the seemingly unwritten rule that articles about Israel must include Jewish anti-Israel voices. Similarly, when writing about anti-Semitism, mainstream reporters tend to make sure to include Jews who insist everyone is overreacting.

The trend seems designed to leave the impression of the Jewish people as forever arguing amongst ourselves. And sometimes it gets applied in truly bizarre situations.

Like in this Guardian piece about dating against the backdrop of the Israel-Hamas war.

The article tells us that since Oct. 7, both Jews and Muslims have shown an increased interest in finding a partner who matches their religious profile. Muslim matchmakers told the paper that the events of the past year have made their Muslim clients—already inclined to seek partners who are also Muslim—put more emphasis on meeting Muslims from the same country of origin. Their particularism, in other words, is getting even more particular.

That makes sense. “I want the shared common language, I want the shared food that we cook in our home,” Muslim clients tell one matchmaker. The closeness of death and danger, the globalization of politics—all this makes people tend to want to deepen their bonds with their roots and their communities.

Regarding American Jews, however, the article leaves the impression that their religion is politics. We hear from “Ari” (many of the names in the article were changed), who is reluctant to match with someone with pro-Palestinian messaging in their profile not because Ari can’t be with such a person but because he assumes they won’t want to date him. Ari is a Zionist—like most Jews. But Ari “said he was not a fan of Zionists with pro-Israel messages in their profiles.” So, he doesn’t like pro-Israel or anti-Israel messaging in a potential mate’s profile. Sounds pretty unrepresentative of the wider Jewish world.

We also meet Anna, whose dating app profile includes a watermelon to show solidarity with Palestinians. It is, you’ll be shocked to hear, reducing the number of Jewish single men who want to match with her.

The Guardian helpfully explains that the war has divided Jewish singles, “some of whom believe their Judaism requires them to support Israel, and others who believe Jews have a responsibility to be more outspoken against Israeli violence.”

Judaism is apparently pretty ambivalent about the Jews. Who knew?

That’s not to say Muslim singles didn’t run into their own problems. Sometimes, they meet other Muslims who aren’t quite as passionate about the war as they are. One person in the article, named Sanya, has found a clever solution. She simply updated her profile with the sentence: “Let’s make sure we’re on the same page about Israel being a terrorist state.”

We don’t meet any Muslims who say their interpretation of their religion obliges them to stand against violence toward Israel. Such Muslims exist, of course. But you are unlikely to find them in mainstream stories about the war. Reporters don’t exactly go looking for “complexity” in faiths other than Judaism. But you can always be sure to find an interpretation of Judaism that deeply disapproves of whatever it is the Jews are doing at the moment.

Thus does an article ostensibly about Muslims and Jews looking to date within their communities end up being an article about Muslims who date Muslims and Jews who find it hard to date Jews because the online world is full of annoying Zionists.

Anti-Zionist Jews are, in fact, an extraordinarily small slice of the community. Jews who won’t even date a Zionist are fewer still. Yet it is difficult to find that reality reflected in the reporting on the Jewish community.

I imagine there is a fascinating article to be written about changes in the dating patterns of Jewish Americans in a way that is representative of the actual Jewish community being depicted. This is not that article, and thanks to the unwritten rules of mainstream political journalism, we’re unlikely to get it.

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